About Lonely31903
i love to cuddle up a sofa read a good book. i love thunderstroms.i like all kind of music.i like to take long walks. i love kids i aint perfect noone is .i like to let my hair down at times.What Is It That We Want? Current mood: adventurous There once was someone who challenged me to look beyond the box, beyond this school in which I dwell and beyond this community and to figure out what I truly want in life or in someone. I don't know about anyone else but I've come to my realizations. Had you told me over a year ago everything that was to occur within this year not only would I have not believed you but I would have slapped someone in the face for even thinking of some of the things that have happened this year. But I'm in the stage where I know I've changed and I'm content with that. So here is what I want in life, in someone and in general. Someone who isn't afraid to be themself around me or anyone else for that matter. [havent found him ] Someone who is a realist rather that living in an alternative vision of the world as it is today. [ havent found him ] Someone whose life is at a whim but they also know the basis of what they want in life or at least what they want to do with it. [havent found him] Someone that won't say I love you until they truly mean it. [oh where is at] Someone who wants fun and isn't worried about what others think. [oh where are u] Someone who is comfortable in their own skin. [havent got him yet] I want to work hard and have it pay off. [ still working] I want to rely on myself rather than being a spoiled brat {did it]] I want to create a life for myself and feel comfortable about the transition. [ still doing it] I want to break away from my shell and do something really crazy. [ did it] I want to meet new people. [ continuously] I want simplicity without questioning motives. I am nowhere near perfect. I'm brave and daring but only at the wrong times. I'm talkative but even I go too far sometimes. I'm not a size zero but I'm content with myself. I'm not a supermodel but cute works for me. I'm not a jerk; I'm confident in myself. I'm 32 year old that is allowing it all to sink in. Basically. I want someone who will challenge the normal, seek the exciting and test me spiritually. I want a break from this harmony. I want chaos. I want more reasons to fight for everything I'm living for and about and recreate the old to modify the new. I want change. I want more body modifications. I want new experiences and memories so outrageous you'd think it's a story. I want clarity in this blurred vision. I want freedom. Wanna make it happen? DID U KNOW? ....MY favorite colors are, Purple, RED, Blue, Bright green, Bright Orange and Black?....That I love Thunderstorms while takeing a hot bubble bath? ....MY favorite comfort food is ''pigs-n-a-blanket'? ....I'm in love with Chinse and Japanese Culture? ....I want to travel to Europe and vist it? ....I hate the name "frankie" for some unknown reason? ....That I love photography?...That I dont believe in one best friend?....That i can be a tomboy sometimes?...That i can be girly also?....That I Despise people who two-face people?....That I'm writing this out of pure boredom?...Yeah , Well, IF you didn;t, then you do now. Later days bf sorry its so long oh by the way i hate fake men dont just look inside my profile and run say hey at least I've been through an emotional roller coaster (like everyone has) and I have been torn, mentally beaten, loved, lost, laughed, cried and cried some more. I am human and any emotion I have gone through, has made me who I am today. I have loved the best and I have been loved by the best. I have had my ups and downs, ins and outs. I don't know what I will accomplish by posting this. I am just having a moment. I want you to see me, for me. I am a jokester, but I know when to be serious. I know when to step up and make someone laugh until they cry. I know how to love without regret, I know how to endure pain and move past it. I know how to be sweet and caring at precisely the right moment. I know how to give and not expect anything in return. There's more to me than this shiny exterior. There's more to me than some silly post I make in the forums. I have a heart and it's BIG. I have a soul and it's thriving to be the most beautiful soul, only to be seen by those that are willing to see that beauty, through my big blue eyes. I have my flaws, my faults. I have scars, both emotionally and physically. I have wounds that have healed over time, with love and care, by myself. No one can fix us, WE have to fix us. I can speak for myself when I say "I have fixed ME!" I've been bruised, I've been treated unfairly, I've cared and not received care in return, I've loved until I couldn't love anymore, I've been loved and not accepted it too. My faults are that I have given too much when it wasn't appreciated. I have often tried to understand 'why am I not good enough?' when in reality, I AM good enough, I am good, I am love. That goes for ALL aspects of my life...from my childhood to work, to friendships, to relationships to adulthood in itself. I've taken some time here recently to reflect on the things that matter in life. , my health, my sanity (thank God I'm not bipolar), my family, my friends, the food in my belly, the trees, the flowers, the air that I breathe and the values and morals that my beautiful mother instilled within me all throughout my life. You will be a part of me forever, your legacy lives on, in me and in my children. *Thanks my beautiful Angel* Never take anything or anyone for granted, don't live in the past, don't let life pass you by. You know that age old saying 'stop and smell the roses?'.... well I do, all the time. I love the sun shining on my face, I love the peacefulness of a cold winter morning sitting in a tree stand watching the sun rise and the deer playing in the field, I love to watch children play...youth is so precious. I love to photograph the smiles of children and flowers. I love to feel the warmth of the water running through my hair when I shower. I love the way the ocean breeze feels upon my skin. I love the smile of an elderly person. I love the selflessness of what my mother did for her children right before she passed away. I just love, that's what I do BEST! I'm sorry, I'm just rambling. Life... to be or not to be, that is the question. I choose to be one of a kind, one in a lifetime. I choose not to be anything other than what I am...which is beautiful, inside Come in and take a look... do you like what you see through my eyes? Can you see my soul? What do you choose to be or not to be?
